ACTION OR ESCAPE GAMBLERS
Differences in Pathological Gamblers in
Arizona
Written in 1994
Reviewed May 2009
This document is based on information provided to ACCG
and Don Hulen's observations of and interactions with male compulsive
gamblers over a 50-year time span and with female compulsive gamblers
from 1989 to the present. ACCG staff members have added to and collaborated
in editing it. Although this informal article does not relate to ALL
compulsive gamblers, male or female, it reflects information provided
to and observed by its authors.
Until the 1990s, most clinical studies of pathological
gambling were conducted using male compulsive gamblers; thus, much of
the information available about the disease was specific to male "action"
gamblers. Yet many of the problem gamblers who called the Arizona Helpline
during the 1990s clearly did not fit the "action gambler"
mold. We began to identify another type of compulsive gambler -- the
Escape Gambler. Escape gamblers have a much different profile than traditional
action gamblers and include men as well as women. (See article - Escape
Gamblers)
CHARACTERISTICS OF THE ACTION COMPULSIVE GAMBLER
Many "action" gamblers are domineering, controlling,
manipulative men with large egos. They see themselves as friendly, sociable,
gregarious and generous. Their average IQ is over 120. They are energetic,
assertive, persuasive and confident. In spite of all this, they usually
have low self esteem. Historically, they started gambling at an early
age, often in their teens, placing small bets on sporting events or
playing cards with friends or relatives. They progress through the four
phases of the disorder over a 10- to 30-year time span.
TYPES OF GAMBLING PREFERRED BY ACTION GAMBLERS
Action compulsive gamblers gamble primarily at "skill"
games such as poker or other card games, craps or other dice games,
horse and dog racing and sports betting. These gamblers dominate both
legal and illegal sports betting. They gamble to beat other individuals
or the "house" and often believe they can develop a system
to achieve this goal. During the desperation phase of the disease, action
gamblers many begin to gamble specifically for escape, medicating the
pain they are feeling from the destruction created by their gambling
with the narcotic-like effect of slot or, more likely, video poker machines.
Reading
Note: Although the pronoun "he" is used
to describe the Action gambler and the Escape gambler is referred to
as "she," this is NOT intended to imply that ALL action compulsive
gamblers are male nor that ALL escape compulsive gamblers are female.
THE FOUR PHASES OF ACTION COMPULSIVE GAMBLERS
The Winning Phase:
During the winning phase (first 3 to 5 years), the
Action gambler wins more often than he loses. He probably experiences
a "big win" -- an amount equal to at least a month’s
normal salary and, sometimes, as much as a year's normal salary or more.
This winning phase and, specifically, a major early win, gives
him the illusion that he is smarter than others and, of course, a superior
gambler. Action gamblers frequently believe themselves capable of "turning
professional" and may even consider themselves professional gamblers.
As these gamblers progress through the winning phase,
they begin to increase the time spent gambling. They begin to gamble
more often and for larger amounts of money. Eventually, they begin to
lose consistently.
The Losing Phase:
The losing phase usually lasts more than five years.
The Action gambler begins betting even larger amounts and gambles more
often. He believes he is simply on a "losing streak." He doubles
up on bets and stays in hands when he knows he should fold. He bets
on "long shots," knowing they don’t have much of a chance
but will pay more. He loses much more often than he wins. These frequent
losses cause him to gamble even more in order to win back his money
-- he is now "chasing his losses." He borrows money with which
to gamble. The lying has already begun; he must lie to cover his tracks.
He must lie to convince people he is still the "happy go lucky
gambler" and all around "good guy." He begins to lie
about everything, often when the truth would serve him better. He continues
to boast about his gambling skills. He talks often about his wins, rarely
about his losses.
At some point, he has his first major set back. Deep
in financial trouble, he may convince his family or employer of some
phony catastrophy or disaster which requires a loan. Most probably,
he obtains his first "bailout." He asks for more
than he needs to cover his losses, providing extra "gambling
dollars." He sees the "bailout"
as a win. He is back in action, gambling even more feverishly than before.
The Desperation Phase:
This phase may be short or may last for many years.
The majority of the gambler’s time is spent either thinking about
gambling, planning his next bet, or in action. He no longer has control
over his actions. In order to relieve the inner pain, he must gamble.
He knows he will lose, but it does not matter. His lying is completely
out of control. When others don’t believe his lies, he becomes
angry with them. He blames others for his problems. He must obtain the
money with which to gamble at all costs. His family is in shambles.
His loved ones have already left or are on the verge of leaving. Illegal
activity may be present. He may be embezzling money or stealing it in
other ways. He will consider these as "loans" to be paid back
as soon as he makes a big win. He is still often able to present an
outward appearance of being in control.
His wife and children (if they are still around) are
suffering in many ways: the rent or house payment is overdue; the utilities
may have even been turned off. Few relatives even speak to them anymore.
They are on a cash only basis with merchants. Credit cards are "maxed
out." His wife knows he is gambling. She knows he continually lies.
She has heard him say a thousand times that he will stop, that everything
will be okay. She is suffering from depression but, because she still
has a sense of false pride, she doesn't want anyone to know how desperate
they are. She pleads with him to just stop. Yet he continues
to gamble. She is afraid to answer the phone, fearing it will be still
another bill collector or, worse, her relatives wanting their money.
Her life and her children's is spiraling downward toward an unknown
end. She is frequently convinced that it is somehow her fault. The gambler
often has an outward appearance, even at this stage, of being in total
control. He is still convinced that everyone believes his lies. He becomes
angry when they don't. Outwardly, he blames everyone but himself for
the unfortunate circumstances now occurring. Inwardly, the gambler is
in severe anguish. He truly loves his family and wants things to be
as they used to be. He wants respect and stability, but he has
to gamble. He can't tell you why, but he has to gamble. He
has to be in action. He is living in a dream world, knowing
he can't win. Punishing himself, he wants it to end. He has
to gamble because it is the only way he can relieve the pain. He thinks
about self destruction and, probably more often than most would like
to believe, attempts or commits suicide.
His significant other’s pride and lack of knowledge
about the disorder will not allow her to face the fact that she must
take action. Unfortunately, it may take something like an arrest, a
suicide attempt, or some other traumatic event to occur before she finally
offers an ultimatum or takes the kids and leaves the gambler.
In the Desperation phase, Action and Escape gamblers
share many of the same symptoms. They no longer have any power over
gambling. Gambling itself is in control.
The Action gambler, more often than not, is forced
into recovery only after he has exhausted all means of obtaining money
with which to gamble. Frequently, he is facing legal issues. His spouse
or significant others force him into recovery with ultimatums, or his
employer mandates a 12-step program, or a court orders him into a recovery
program.
An Action gambler rarely searches out a recovery program
of his own accord. Though he may make the first call on his own, he
may later admit that it was only at the prompting of someone else. Rarely
will an Action gambler seek professional help unless he is advised to
do so by a lawyer, or his spouse gives him an "or else" ultimatum.
When a typical Action gambler enters a self-help recovery
program, he often believes that his family should immediately rally
to his aid. He expects them to forgive him instantly for his misdeeds.
He frequently still blames others for his actions and usually does not
face the facts squarely. Often, he considers the fact that he has stopped
gambling as a "badge of honor" and his ego is once again inflated.
Not taking the recovery program seriously, he merely stops gambling.
He does not involve himself in the recovery process and, before long,
after a few meetings, after he has convinced his family that he is once
again a "hero," he stops attending the program. In the blink
of an eye, he is gambling again, on a progressive downward spiral through
the remainder of this phase.
Once again out of marbles, he returns to the recovery
program. Finally, he may take his gambling disease seriously. When this
occurs, he has a better chance at recovery. Yet, often, the action gambler
attends meetings, gambles, returns to meetings, gambles and so forth.
This cycle of periodic recovery and periodic gambling may last for years
and often leads to criminal activity, imprisonment or even death.
Hopeless Phase:
Early in the study of pathological gambling, experts
noted only three phases of the addiction. Many clinicians and experts
who treat pathological gamblers now say that a fourth phase -- the Hopeless
Phase -- exists for both Action and Escape gamblers.
For a gambler who has been through the Desperation
phase, it would seem that everything bad had occurred. However, in the
hopeless phase, both types of pathological gamblers emotionally "give
up." They don't care if they live or die. In fact, for many, the
latter is preferable. They will consider suicide during this phase.
Most will commit actions which could place them in jail or prison. Clinical
depression is a given. In their minds, no one cares and, no hope is
available.
The Hopeless phase is the end of the road -- the time
when the pathological gambler either gets help, is imprisoned, or dies.
===============================================
ESCAPE COMPULSIVE GAMBLING IN ARIZONA
Note: The Term "ESCAPE GAMBLER" was coined
by Henry Lesieur Ph.D, PsyD.
Dr. Lesieur is one of original pioneers of research and treatment of
pathological gambling. He co-authored the DSM IV clinical criteria for
pathological gambling and co-developed the South Oaks Gambling Screen,
which is used by many clinicians as the primary diagnostic instrument
for the disorder. Dr. Lesieur wrote an article about Escape Gamblers
in 1992. (for more information on Dr. Lesieur see link to NCPG About
problem gambling - Fact Sheet) https://www.ncpgambling.org/about_problem/about_problem_timeline.asp
Prior to 1993, most Arizona gamblers wishing to gamble
at casinos made the trek to Nevada. They left their money there, but
brought their problems home to Arizona. With Indian gaming, a substantial
portion of casino revenue now stays in Arizona and most of the casino
gambler's dollars are used for good purposes: to create jobs, provide
education, and induce more tourists to come to Arizona.
However, as casino gambling became available in Arizona,
more and more of its citizens crossed over the line from recreational
gambling into perhaps the most insidious of all addictions -- compulsive
gambling. During the first years of the Lottery, followed by the emergence
of Indian casinos in Arizona, we saw an epidemic of Escape compulsive
gamblers reaching out for help.
Since then, we have learned a great deal about the
Escape gambler, a much different type of gambler than the traditional
Action gambler. We offer our overview of the typical Arizona "Escape"
compulsive gambler in the following Escape Gambling article.
HISTORY OF ESCAPE GAMBLING IN ARIZONA
In 1999, 73% of all calls to the ACCG 1-800-Helpline
were from or about Escape gamblers. 94% of the women and 49% of the
men who called identified themselves as such.
Gender or Type?
The only way to assess the early days of compulsive
gambling in Arizona is to look at the status of Gamblers Anonymous in
our state. Prior to the early 1990's, the only people who walked through
the GA doors and stayed were men. It was assumed they all fit the profile
of those who started GA, what we now call the Action gambler. "He"
usually had started gambling in his teens, and played skill games such
as cards or track betting. He didn't attempt to stop gambling until
forced into recovery by a spouse, employer or probation officer often
after 10 to 30 years of gambling compulsively. If there were what we
now call Escape or late-on-set gamblers among them, the distinction
went unnoticed.
Prior to 1981, public gambling was considered socially
unacceptable for women with the exception of local bingo halls. In fact,
the first gambling available to the public on Indian Reservations was
bingo. Then the Arizona Lottery introduced the first single scratch
ticket. The Pick and Lotto soon followed and tens of millions of dollars
worth of advertising convinced many that, "You gotta play to win."
By the time Indian Casinos were introduced in the late 1980's, the climate
of acceptability had been established: it was not only okay for everyone
to gamble, it was almost one's civic duty! Not only could women gamble
at their convenience market or grocery store, they could go to a casino
in groups or even alone. And the casinos offered the very games preferred
by most Escape gamblers: bingo, slot machines, video poker and kino
machines. In the mid 1990s when gambling became available on the internet,
it provided another gambling venue for both Escape and Action gamblers.
As with many steps toward gender equity, women began
to pay a price for their equality: they too found themselves in increasing
numbers becoming addicted to gambling. When they arrived at GA, it seemed
obvious: most women gambled differently than men.
As the years pass, it is now easier to see that the
differences between the two types of gamblers was a gender issue was
a misinterpretation of what was happening. Even our council first wrote
of the differences in the way men and women gamble. We now understand
that this is not a gender issue (although women do seem to do better
in early recovery by attending women only meetings). The accessibility
of casino type gambling is affecting men who had no previous history
of gambling or compulsive gambling in the same way it affects women.
Perhaps the least previously identified and least understood compulsive
gambler of all was the male Escape gambler.
Women gamblers finally found their way into recovery
in the greater Phoenix area by starting their own GA meeting. These
meetings seem to be almost essential in areas where GA has already been
established and is male dominated. As women gained recovery in their
meeting, they attended the other rooms in two's and three's. Their "therapy"
rang true for many men and helped pave the way for the male Escape gambler
to better understand his disease. Today women account for an estimated
50% of the membership of the GA rooms in the Phoenix area and the vast
majority of gamblers presenting for clinical care are women. Escape
Gamblers are now the majority of gamblers seeking help for problems
associated with gambling.
PROFILE OF ESCAPE GAMBLERS
Most Escape gamblers have been nurturing, caring responsible
people for most of their lives. For the most part, they are not egotistical,
have no indications of narcissism and are not outgoing. They appear
to be "normal" and have an almost exact opposite character
profile than that of the Action gambler.
During their lives, various psychological traumas have
occurred. These individuals frequently suppress negative feelings and
do not deal with them. As time goes by and the traumas increase, a single
traumatic event may take place which causes situational or clinical
depression. Friends and relatives of the person become aware of the
depression of the person.
After the predisposing factors come to the surface,
depression is prevalent. The individual will often do what most people
do -- attempt to self-medicate or escape from the trauma (to make themselves
feel better).
These individuals are prone to use drugs, food, sex,
alcohol or gambling as a way to self-medicate. Often, a friend or family
member will suggest to the individual that they do something "fun"
to help forget about the problems.
When they choose gambling, the individual will realize
that the act of gambling does help them forget about and escape from
their problems. The individual may become addicted to gambling the first
time they gamble and the progression of the disorder begins.
Escape gamblers literally get "relief"
or "escape" from psychological and emotional pain. Many are
actually afraid to stop gambling because they have no confidence they
will be able to endure the pain they fear will come when they stop medicating
themselves with their drug of choice, gambling. A drug addict is rarely
expected to quit "cold turkey." The gambling addict must be
offered the hope of an alternative way of dealing with the underlying
factors that led them to want the escape-at-all-cost anesthetizing quality
of slot machines, video poker, keno or bingo.
A 12-step program, in time, can lead to
a better way of coping with the past as well as the present. Most escape
compulsive gamblers would benefit from therapy by a certified compulsive
gambling counselor, outpatient treatment, or even intensive inpatient
treatment to help them deal with the sometimes excruciating pain of
facing reality and addressing the issues that underlie the addiction.
THE PROGRESSIVE NATURE OF THE ILLNESS
Most escape gamblers begin by visiting a casino with
friends or family once or twice as a social event, an opportunity to
take a break from their problems and "have some fun." In other
words, they gamble for recreation. A few, however, quickly step over
the line into compulsive escape gambling. They rapidly fly through what
is often referred to as the "winning" phase. For escape gamblers
who gamble at games of luck, no winning phase exists. It is more like
an Introductory Phase. On occasion there are winning episodes, but not
phases. They may or may not have a big monetary win. For them, "winning"
may have to do more with the empowerment that comes from entering a
world that is free from outside controlling factors, providing a narcotic-like
relief or escape from their worries. Escape gamblers move quickly into
Phase Two, the chasing stage, and usually reach the third phase, desperation
and fourth phase, hopelessness, within two to three years. They often
seek professional counseling prior to attending their first self help
meeting.
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ESCAPE GAMBLING: THE FOUR PHASES
95% OF WOMEN AND 37% OF MEN CALLING THE ARIZONA COUNCIL
ON COMPULSIVE GAMBLING IN THE PAST YEAR HAVE MET OUR CRITERIA FOR COMPULSIVE
ESCAPE GAMBLING
For most "Escape Gamblers," gambling was
not a problem until predisposing factors appeared (see Predisposing
Factors handout). Escape gamblers play"luck" games (e.g. bingo,
lottery, slot or video poker, live keno or keno machines). They gamble
first as recreation then as an "escape" from their problems.
Not every escape gambler will experience all of the
symptoms or progress through the symptoms of a phase in the same order
or at the same rate. Some may return to a previous stage for a short
period of time. This is often seen after a bailout occurs (friends or
family pay off loans or bills in an attempt to help the gambler get
back on track).
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INTRODUCTORY PHASE
Winning "phase" is not an appropriate term
for what happens to escape gamblers. They may have gambled socially
at some time in their life with no adverse consequences or they may
never have gambled before. Many report knowing they were "in trouble"
after their first gambling experience following predisposing factors
. Characteristics may include:
SEVERAL SMALL OR EVEN LARGE MONETARY WINNING "EPISODES."
Although money is usually secondary for escape gamblers, they may see
gambling as a way to solve financial difficulties, become financially
independent or make extra money after these winning episodes.
EMOTIONAL ESCAPE from life's problems experienced while in the act of
gambling is the sole "win" identified by many escape gamblers.
Money just means they can play longer- escape longer. Many experience
a mood altering euphoria while at a machine.
SELF-ESTEEM BOOST that comes from a FALSE SENSE OF EMPOWERMENT as they
experience an "it's my turn" feeling without family members
present to make demands on their time and energy is another "win"
reported by escape gamblers.
INDEPENDENCE is yet another intoxicating "win" especially
if they are in a relationship where the spouse or significant other
is domineering or controlling or if physical ailments or disabilities
keep them from a "normal" life.
EXCITEMENT AND LIVING ON THE EDGE is another feeling
that may be present.
SOCIAL INTERACTION at the casino reportedly fills the void by many who
suffer from boredom or loneliness.
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LOSING PHASE
LOSSES ARE RATIONALIZED AS BAD LUCK WITH THE "BIG
WIN" RIGHT AROUND THE CORNER
THE CYCLE OF WINNING, LOSING AND BREAKING EVEN BEGINS -------- BAILOUTS
NO WIN IS "ENOUGH" OR CAN SATISFY BECAUSE IT IS NOW ABOUT
"HOW LONG CAN I PLAY" OR ESCAPE
LOWERED SELF ESTEEM ---- GAMBLING ALONE --- WAGERS INCREASE --- HIDING
GAMBLING
MORE TIME IS SPENT GAMBLING OR THINKING ABOUT GAMBLING
LYING TO COVER MONEY SPENT--- BEHIND IN BILLS --- BORROWING MONEY
IRRITABLE WHEN NOT GAMBLING --- NEGLIGENT OF FAMILY OR FAMILY RESPONSIBILITIES
UNSUCCESSFUL ATTEMPTS TO LIMIT OR STOP GAMBLING
GAMBLING HAS REPLACED ALL COPING SKILLS AND BECOMES A WAY TO ESCAPE
LIFE'S PROBLEMS
GAMBLES LONGER THAN PLANNED --- GAMBLES UNTIL LAST $ IS GONE
LOSES TIME FROM WORK --- SELLS ITEMS TO FINANCE GAMBLING
FEELS REMORSE AFTER GAMBLING ---- ANGRY WHEN CONFRONTED ABOUT GAMBLING
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DESPERATION PHASE
(Most Escape Gamblers reach this phase 1 to 3 years from the onset of
compulsive gambling.)
OBSESSED WITH GAMBLING --- PHYSICAL WELL BEING NEGLECTED
---BAILOUTS
REPUTATION AFFECTED --- LOSS OF FRIENDS AND/OR FAMILY
LACK OF CONCERN FOR OTHERS --- DRASTIC MOOD SWINGS
ILLEGAL ACTS (EMBEZZLEMENT, BAD CHECKS, INSURANCE OR CREDIT CARD FRAUD)
IF IN RECOVERY FROM ANOTHER DEPENDENCE, POSSIBILITY FOR RELAPSE
LOSS OF SPOUSE, KIDS, JOB, HOME
FREQUENT THOUGHTS OF SUICIDE
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HOPELESS PHASE
POSSIBLE INCARCERATION
EMOTIONAL BREAKDOWN
FINANCIAL RUIN
SUICIDE ATTEMPTS
Escape Gamblers
The following deductions were made by the Arizona Council since 1997
as data has been collected from thousands of compulsive gamblers calling
the 1-800-Helpline and information provided by gamblers attending the
self-help programs across Arizona.
Escape compulsive gamblers share some of the same characteristics
as the Action gambler:
Low self esteem
Become liars
Manipulative
Evolve through four stages: Winning-Losing-Desperation-Hopeless
(although e is no "Winning" stage exists for Escape gamblers,
they do have winning episodes, but not phases. This is because Escape
gamblers play "luck" and Action Gamblers play "skill"
games.
However, there are important differences. Understanding
them can accelerate one's recovery.
Gambling becomes a problem later in life, frequently
after 30 or as late as 80.
Gamble at luck games; slot machines, video poker, bingo,
lottery, other machines, Internet.
Gamble for different reasons than action gamblers.
Are numb, almost in a hypnotic like state while gambling.
Gamble to escape problems.
Are free from physical and/or emotional pain while
gambling
Nurturing, responsible individual majority of adult
life.
Often victim of abuse
Does not like confrontation; in desperate need of empowerment
Often becomes compulsive almost immediately once predisposing
factors emerge
Sometimes has winning episodes after becoming compulsive,
but at this point winning is simply a means of gambling longer.
Usually seeks help for their gambling within 6 months
to 3 years after becoming compulsive.
High probability of long term abstinence from gambling
if able to become empowered by replacing gambling with other activity
and regaining or developing coping skills
Probably codependent. Recovery greatly accelerated
by recognizing and dealing with codependent issues.
Have a much more difficult time in early recovery.
They don't forgive themselves easily and have a deep sense of shame
and guilt.
Spouses of women Escape gamblers are not likely to
attend recovery programs such as GamAnon.
Have a better opportunity at long term recovery; become
more involved in their own recovery.
Are more likely to seek professional help
Need empowering rather than humbling
INSIDE the MIND of the ESCAPE GAMBLER
GENDER NOTE: Although this profile uses "she"
for its example, remember that 49% of the men calling the ACCG Hotline
in 1999 met our criteria for Escape or Late-Onset gambling.
Typically, the escape gambler becomes enthralled with
playing the slot, video poker, live keno or keno machine. It is exciting,
it is fun, it does not talk back, it requires her full concentration.
She has to pay attention to the results of each roll; keep pushing the
button or pulling the arm; She does not have time to think about her
problems. After just a brief period of time at the machine an almost
hypnotic trance occurs. She realizes she has found a way to completely
forget about all problems in her life. She feels comfortable, happy,
and free from turmoil. She may later report that, in retrospect, she
realizes she was "hooked" the very first time she played.
The next time she has an opportunity to return to the
machine, she has immediate relief from her problems. By the second or
third visit she no longer goes with friends or family. They want to
leave after awhile; she does not. She begins to go to the casino alone,
stays for longer periods of time, goes to the casino more often and
may graduate rapidly to the dollar machine. While at the machine, she
does not have to worry about anything except how to stay longer and
play more often. No one is telling her what to do, no phone calls, no
one wanting this or wanting that, no demands, just freedom. Social needs
are met. The change girl and other gamblers begin to know her and call
her by name; she makes friends with other "regulars;" consequently,
she begins to feel very comfortable while at the casino. Other problems
are forgotten and she is having fun. She has selected a favorite machine.
There are also second and third favorites. The gambler begins to call
it "her" machine. If she goes to the casino and someone else
is at her machine, she is angry. She will go to her second machine,
but would much rather be at her "own" machine. She may talk
to the machine, telling it to "come on, pay up", or swear
at it, and thank it when it pays, but she will usually go back to her
machine time after time. A lady recently said that she accused her machine
of infidelity when she saw another lady win a jackpot at it. However,
as soon as the winner left, she immediately returned to her machine,
forgave its infidelity and continued the affair. Relationships with
a machine are very real.
She begins to make plans about her next gambling trip, always specific
about how much money she will gamble with, and how long she will stay.
She vows that as soon as the money is gone or the time is up she plans
on leaving. However, as soon as she sits down at the machine a trance
like hypnotic effect takes place. She pulls the handle or pushes the
button and all plans are abandoned. She will stay at the machine, often
not even getting up to use the bathroom or eat, only leaving her machine
to go to the ATM or to write a check, asking an employee or another
gambler to watch her machine while she is gone. Even when she wins,
she will continue to gamble until she has depleted all available resources
at that session and leave only when she no longer has money with which
to gamble. Winning at this point only means she can gamble longer. Money
is not real; it is like play money and has no link to reality. While
playing the machine, she may pray to God to just let her win, just let
her get even.
When the escape compulsive gambler is finally out of
funds, she is forced to leave the casino. She gets into her car feeling
precisely like the action gambler who has just been taken out of action.
She may pray , "Please never let me gamble again." She may
swear that she will never gamble again, may curse God for allowing her
to gamble; she may pound on the steering wheel, even scream and cry
on the drive home and have thoughts about driving her car off of a bridge
or into an oncoming vehicle (a thought she quickly abandons for fear
of hurting someone else; as much as she wants to harm herself, she doesn't
want it to appear self-inflicted and she doesn't really want to hurt
a stranger). She will blame the casino, vowing never to return. But
unfortunately, in order to escape the reality of the problems she already
suffers and others she may have just created, she must gamble again.
Once home, she has already prepared lies about where
she has been or what she has done, is already making plans about how
to obtain more money to cover bad checks she may have written and to
obtain money with which to win back her losses. She will probably be
back at the machine the next day or very soon and the cycle will repeat
itself again and again until finally her world comes crashing down.
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CODEPENDENCY & ESCAPE GAMBLERS
Upon learning about codependency, many escape gamblers
identify codependency problems as some of the underlying issues they
must deal with as part of their recovery. Books by such authors as Melody
Beatty or Pia Mellody as well as CoDA itself are recommended. Books
are available on line through Hazelden or Amazon.com
LEARNING NEW COPING SKILLS
Escape gamblers are literally getting "relief",
getting "escape" from psychological and emotional pain. Many
are actually afraid to stop gambling because they have no confidence
they will be able to endure the pain they fear will come when they stop
medicating themselves with the drug of their choice, gambling. A drug
addict is rarely expected to quit "cold turkey". The gambling
addict must be offered the hope of an alternative way of dealing with
the underlying factors that led them to want the escape-at-all-cost
anesthetizing quality of slot machines, video poker, keno, bingo or
whatever type of gambling they became addicted to.
A twelve step program, in time, can lead to a better
way of coping with the past as well as the present. Most compulsive
gamblers would benefit from therapy by a certified compulsive gambling
counselor, outpatient treatment, or even intensive inpatient treatment
to help them deal with the sometimes excruciating pain of facing reality
and addressing the issues which underlie the addiction.
ESCAPE GAMBLERS AND THE G.A. COMBO BOOK
When escape gamblers come to G.A. for the first time
without any understanding of how their experience differs from the action
gamblers, they may read the yellow combo book, the book that is read
at every meeting of G.A. and is most people's introduction to the program,
and wonder if they are in the right place.
While they will identify with most of the book, it
is helpful to understand, many escape gamblers read page 10-11 of the
"combo" book and do not identify with the immaturity, and
dream world of the "action" compulsive gambler. If they understand
the historical perspective of the program and that escape gamblers are
only now being recognized, it will help them take what is appropriate
to them and leave the rest. It is the opinion of this author that the
twelve-step program of G.A. is vital if one is to obtain long term abstinence
and recovery from compulsive gambling.
WOMEN, GAMBLING AND EMPOWERMENT
The self help programs tell women they must admit powerlessness
over their compulsion to gamble. Ironically, feeling powerless over
all of the problems in their lives may have been a major factor that
led them to gamble in the first place.
What they may need is empowerment; that's what the
machine gave them, a sense of having freedom from being powerless. They
have just been asked to leave the one thing in life that gave them some
sense of freedom, their machine. When they no longer have it, they may
believe they have nothing.
They must be encouraged to replace that illusion of
freedom which the machine provided with some other activities and coping
skills. For those who seek it, the power of the 12 step program often
fills the void.
WOMEN IN GA IN ARIZONA TODAY
Since the Women only Gamblers Anonymous group was started
in the Phoenix area in 1992, women have become very prevalent at other
meetings. Today they make up an estimated 50% or more of the GA meetings
in the greater Phoenix area. Once they began to understand their specific
differences relating to gambling, they began to attend other meetings
in groups of three, four and more. The women began talking about recovery,
not telling "War Stories."
Women have changed the program in Arizona for the better.
When someone you love gambles too much?
Click on the broken heart in the TOP menu.
