FRIENDS AND FAMILIES OF COMPULSIVE GAMBLERS |
||
|
WHEN SOMEONE YOU LOVE GAMBLES COMPULSIVELY The following Informal Intervention procedure may help you as a spouse, relative or other significant person to approach the gambler and encourage him/her to get help. These suggestions are not intended as a substitute for professional intervention conducted under the guidance of a counselor, psychologist or other health care professional. If you suspect that the gambler needs inpatient treatment, seek the advice and assistance of a certified compulsive gambling counselor (a list of professionals is available on this website or by calling the Arizona Council). Information about how gambling affects the gambler's family and about Gamblers Anonymous and Gam-Anon meetings in Arizona is also available on this website. You may wish to have this information available at the time you discuss the problem with the gambler. Seek professional help for yourself if possible and get involved in GamAnon where available. As you list the gamblers behaviors and identify your feelings in the Documentation step, you will recall a lot of past pain. Clinicians say that you must prepare this history and grieve the losses involved or you may remain stuck in rage and anger. Depending on your history, doing this without the support of a professional or a support group could be devastating. A counselor who is trained in intervention can help you prepare for confronting your loved one. The Arizona Council can help with referrals. We also recommend Mary Heinemans booklet, When Someone You Love Gambles, available through Hazelden. Remember, sometimes, no matter what you do or don't do, the gambler will continue to gamble. If none of your efforts encourage the gambler to stop or get help, it is important that you avoid becoming an "enabler." To find out more about ENABLING, Click Here.
Compulsive gambling is a diagnosable and treatable disease, not a disgrace! If you or someone you know has a gambling problem, Call 1-800 777-7207 or get help somewhere. |
INFORMAL INTERVENTION If you decide to do an informal intervention, the following four steps are suggested. They involve: validation, documentation, recommendation and consequences. 1. VALIDATION ("I care")
2.. DOCUMENTATION ("I see," "I feel," "Im willing to listen"... "but some of your behaviors make it difficult for me to show how much I love you.") Write a letter to your gambler.
3. RECOMMENDATIONS ("I want...") I want you to ..
4. CONSEQUENCES ("I will...") Think through what is likely to happen if the above recommendations are followed. Think through what is likely to happen if they are not followed. List only the consequences you can live with and/or are willing to act on.
|
|