Female Gamblers- Getting Women Into Recovery

FEMALE GAMBLERS

WOMEN AND RECOVERY IN ARIZONA: A BRIEF HISTORY
Written by Paula Burns

GA started in Arizona in April 1973. For the first 18 years, a few women walked through the doors... and left. By their own admission, the men didn't quite know what to do with them. The women were told they hadn't gambled long enough; they hadn't lost enough money to be "real" gamblers. "I've tipped a cocktail waitress more than you've lost in your whole gambling career!" one male member said. The women didn't play "real" games. "Any monkey can pull a handle. Real gamblers play poker, horses or bet on sports," the men remarked. The women's tears and stories were ridiculed. They were "hit" on. "Let's go for coffee... at my place, baby." They didn't stay. And the men said, "Women just don't seem to have what it takes to stay in recovery."

In January 1991, Marilyn L stayed. She had many years of AA experience and she knew that 12-step programs worked. She was determined to stop gambling. She vowed she would start a women preferred meeting in Phoenix. She felt women needed a place to feel safe - where women's issues could be freely felt, others understood how and why you gambled, tears could flow freely and no one would be more interested in your body than your therapy. She probably would have made it in the "men's" meeting. But she was committed to the rest of the women who couldn't. In June 1992, four women met in Marilyn's home. The next few years, the meeting struggled, but persisted. On a few occasions, Marilyn sat home alone with her coffee pot. Usually there were two or three. Then five. Finally, they outgrew her home and rented a room in a church. Meanwhile, one of the men who answered the GA hotline, Don H, noticed that women gambled differently than men. He noted that their personalities were different than most male gamblers and thought they should talk to other women who understood. In 1993, the Arizona Council on Compulsive Gambling began to refer women to women. They were encouraged to start with a women preferred group, but to attend mixed groups as well. The women began to go together to the male dominated meetings. And so GA began to grow and evolve.

As executive director of the Arizona Council on Compulsive Gambling, Don Hulen talked to literally thousands of women who called the hotline. He began to write down the differences he noticed in what the women told him as compared to the men. It seemed like gender differences and he first wrote about it as such. As time went on, it became apparent that it was not just a gender difference. Many men called the hotline with the same characteristics as most of the women gamblers. Today, the article "Differences in Types of Gamblers in Arizona" is widely distributed and a major resource for the council in educating callers.

In 1997, in cooperation with a female GA Trustee, ACCG's first female employee began to work with women throughout the state. Today, the Phoenix area has many GA meetings. Of those, 4 are women preferred meetings, including one Spanish-speaking group. Women comprise over 50% of the fellowship.

Suggestions on this page are from Arizona Council on Compulsive Gambling, Inc., based on our experience in Arizona

SUGGESTIONS FOR GETTING WOMEN INTO RECOVERY AND KEEPING THEM THERE

ENCOURAGE WOMEN WITH RECOVERY IN YOUR AREA TO START WOMEN PREFERRED MEETINGS

Many women who are successful in meetings where men predominate are action gamblers themselves. They may not realize the difference women-only meetings can make to the Escape gambler. With more knowledge about the differences in types of gamblers, they may become committed to helping women in general stay in recovery and come to realize the role that a women-preferred meeting can play.

REFER WOMEN TO WOMEN

Refer women gamblers to female resource providers whenever possible.
Network statewide with GA women. Women calling the hotline from anywhere in the state should be referred to a woman active in GA, preferably a member of the meeting that the caller plans to attend.
Determine what type of gambler she is (Escape or Action) and refer her to the ACCG website to read the section on "Types of Gamblers." Follow up by sending hard copy items if she does not have a computer.
Prepare the escape gambler (95% of women in our area) for what she will experience at her first GA meeting. Put the GA combo book in historical perspective if she is an Escape gambler so she will know why some of it seems to describe the opposite of her character.
Try to send her to a GA room where they will not have her answer the 20 questions alone in front of everyone, but in a round-robin fashion or one on one. Action gamblers may need humility, but narcissism and egotism are not characteristics of Escape gamblers and she (or he) usually needs empowerment, not humility.
Link women to other women on the web by referring to A. C. C. G. Women's Page which links to Women Helping Women newsletter.

WORK WITH AREA GA TRUSTEE TO KEEP AWARE OF MEETINGS STATEWIDE

DEVELOP WOMEN TO WOMEN SEMINARS

SEND THE SHOW ON THE ROAD STATEWIDE

ENLIST WOMEN'S CENTERS ETC. AS RESOURCES FOR REPLACING GAMBLING

ENCOURAGE COUNSELORS TO HAVE LOW COST WOMEN'S SUPPORT GROUPS This is especially important in areas where there are no women in recovery and can be a stepping stone toward starting a GA group in their area.

REFER ESCAPE GAMBLERS TO CODA There are CoDA meetings in many areas where there are no GA meetings. Most Escape gamblers have codependency issues.

The Arizona council is a proud affiliate of the National Council on Problem Gambling, Inc.


FEMALE GAMBLERS
Female Gamblers Predisposing Factors Symptoms of Escape Gambling Getting women into Recovery and keeping them there For more information, click in the TOP menu on: "Types of Gamblers" "Gambling Facts" Women Helping Women Newsletter A great resource for women in recovery CoDA - Codependency Anonymous WOMEN AND RECOVERY IN ARIZONA: A BRIEF HISTORY Written by Paula Burns GA started in Arizona in April 1973. For the first 18 years, a few women walked through the doors... and left. By their own admission, the men didn't quite know what to do with them. The women were told they hadn't gambled long enough; they hadn't lost enough money to be "real" gamblers. "I've tipped a cocktail waitress more than you've lost in your whole gambling career!" one male member said. The women didn't play "real" games. "Any monkey can pull a handle. Real gamblers play poker, horses or bet on sports," the men remarked. The women's tears and stories were ridiculed. They were "hit" on. "Let's go for coffee... at my place, baby." They didn't stay. And the men said, "Women just don't seem to have what it takes to stay in recovery." In January 1991, Marilyn L stayed. She had many years of AA experience and she knew that 12-step programs worked. She was determined to stop gambling. She vowed she would start a women preferred meeting in Phoenix. She felt women needed a place to feel safe - where women's issues could be freely felt, others understood how and why you gambled, tears could flow freely and no one would be more interested in your body than your therapy. She probably would have made it in the "men's" meeting. But she was committed to the rest of the women who couldn't. In June 1992, four women met in Marilyn's home. The next few years, the meeting struggled, but persisted. On a few occasions, Marilyn sat home alone with her coffee pot. Usually there were two or three. Then five. Finally, they outgrew her home and rented a room in a church. Meanwhile, one of the men who answered the GA hotline, Don H, noticed that women gambled differently than men. He noted that their personalities were different than most male gamblers and thought they should talk to other women who understood. In 1993, the Arizona Council on Compulsive Gambling began to refer women to women. They were encouraged to start with a women preferred group, but to attend mixed groups as well. The women began to go together to the male dominated meetings. And so GA began to grow and evolve. As executive director of the Arizona Council on Compulsive Gambling, Don Hulen talked to literally thousands of women who called the hotline. He began to write down the differences he noticed in what the women told him as compared to the men. It seemed like gender differences and he first wrote about it as such. As time went on, it became apparent that it was not just a gender difference. Many men called the hotline with the same characteristics as most of the women gamblers. Today, the article "Differences in Types of Gamblers in Arizona" is widely distributed and a major resource for the council in educating callers. In 1997, in cooperation with a female GA Trustee, ACCG's first female employee began to work with women throughout the state. Today, the Phoenix area has many GA meetings. Of those, 4 are women preferred meetings, including one Spanish-speaking group. Women comprise over 50% of the fellowship. Suggestions on this page are from Arizona Council on Compulsive Gambling, Inc., based on our experience in Arizona		SUGGESTIONS FOR GETTING WOMEN INTO RECOVERY AND KEEPING THEM THERE ENCOURAGE WOMEN WITH RECOVERY IN YOUR AREA TO START WOMEN PREFERRED MEETINGS Many women who are successful in meetings where men predominate are action gamblers themselves. They may not realize the difference women-only meetings can make to the Escape gambler. With more knowledge about the differences in types of gamblers, they may become committed to helping women in general stay in recovery and come to realize the role that a women-preferred meeting can play. REFER WOMEN TO WOMEN Refer women gamblers to female resource providers whenever possible. Network statewide with GA women. Women calling the hotline from anywhere in the state should be referred to a woman active in GA, preferably a member of the meeting that the caller plans to attend. Determine what type of gambler she is (Escape or Action) and refer her to the ACCG website to read the section on "Types of Gamblers." Follow up by sending hard copy items if she does not have a computer. Prepare the escape gambler (95% of women in our area) for what she will experience at her first GA meeting. Put the GA combo book in historical perspective if she is an Escape gambler so she will know why some of it seems to describe the opposite of her character. Try to send her to a GA room where they will not have her answer the 20 questions alone in front of everyone, but in a round-robin fashion or one on one. Action gamblers may need humility, but narcissism and egotism are not characteristics of Escape gamblers and she (or he) usually needs empowerment, not humility. Link women to other women on the web by referring to A. C. C. G. Women's Page which links to Women Helping Women newsletter. WORK WITH AREA GA TRUSTEE TO KEEP AWARE OF MEETINGS STATEWIDE DEVELOP WOMEN TO WOMEN SEMINARS SEND THE SHOW ON THE ROAD STATEWIDE ENLIST WOMEN'S CENTERS ETC. AS RESOURCES FOR REPLACING GAMBLING ENCOURAGE COUNSELORS TO HAVE LOW COST WOMEN'S SUPPORT GROUPS This is especially important in areas where there are no women in recovery and can be a stepping stone toward starting a GA group in their area. REFER ESCAPE GAMBLERS TO CODA There are CoDA meetings in many areas where there are no GA meetings. Most Escape gamblers have codependency issues.
The Arizona council is a proud affiliate of the National Council on Problem Gambling, Inc.